Crack Pipe

dear mister, in space
the one smoking crack
from a pipe you stole
like my reminders
kept in a box at the seat of my car
scratched by the broken glass
keep smoking them with a french inhale

those pictures mean nothing to you
and everything to me
a grandmother i never got to meet
my mother when her hair was longer
than sand meets the ocean
those songs i played at the beach
and longed for the moon to come and take me
those songs played me like a flute
blowing and whistling, bells twinkle like tinsel
clear as the memories i won't let you have
while you smoke your pipe, smoke your fucking crackpipe

you didn't even know that was me
kissing the bird on my shoulder
or my jilted handwriting with directions
to my favorite city your unfortunate ass will never see
blinded by the gaps of your missing teeth
those songs played me, played me played me

over and over again on repeat
i hear the noise of glass on the concrete
did you use your fist or did you use a bat
did you lurk like a jerk or prowl like a cat
staring at the one thing that always brought me joy
like the smoke from your pipe, smoke your fucking crackpipe

you can't have my memory
of the last one in the batch
the best and the last, i had a man hold me
made me feel something you will never ever feel
not from the crack you smoke or the reminders you steal
you filthy bastard, are you going to fuck to my music
or dump it in the trash because those pictures mean nothing
just some stupid people you're too high to know
so low, so low. keep smoking while i'm forced to let go
of a book of joy that made everything simpler
lighter, shit that made me burn inside
it's a pity to know you won't know what that feels like

a new reminder. to always feel joy
even when i'm not, even when he's gone
or it's gone because you took it
you didn't take the best of me
so cherish that shit, it's a goddamn trophy
coward, effortless. maybe those pictures will change you
show you what life could be like
sans the pipe, sans the fucking crackpipe

written on November 15, 2007

(fucking jerk. i hope he loses his testicles if he still has them. you write beautiful still, even through angry shit. fuck you for that. btdubs, im in the A on tuesday for aesop rock and im hanging out all night befor ei head to smallbany for tgiving. hit me up. -Kaleb)

(so, who's the bastard??? -Ashlee)